


when the armor falls

by kay_emm_gee



Series: listening stars and answered dreams ('a court of' prompts) [1]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 08:51:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15239790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kay_emm_gee/pseuds/kay_emm_gee
Summary: “I came out here to rid myself of unwanted company,” Nesta warned. “Go back inside.”“I would, if I were indeed unwanted company.”Sge felt an dangerous thrill go down her spine. Half-indignant, half-indulgent, she did not move, but continued staring out into the night. She sensed Cassian moving a few steps towards her, still behind her back, still out of sight.Infuriating, when he did that. Even as it frayed her nerves, the fire it lit inside her wasn’t vicious. It wasn’t soft, either. It was hot, and constant, and insatiable. And like a moth, she couldn’t stay away from its flame.{ prompt fic: "you did all of this for me?" }





	when the armor falls

Nesta felt the pressure of a dozen eyes lift from her as she stepped out onto the balcony. The breeze blew across her bared back. She shivered. Behind her, the party continued on in that big, bright, golden room, filled with laughter and lilting melody and life. Feyre hadn’t been alone all night, either one of the circle or her subjects or Rhys himself at her side, always. And since the music had started, Elain hadn’t left the dance floor. The better for it, Nesta thought with a sigh, considering her younger sister was very flushed from an excessive amount of sparkling wine and too many whispers in her ear from Lucien and Azriel.

As she leaned on the metal railing, Nesta snorted. Of course Elain had managed to ensnare not just one but two Fae hearts, because one had to put effort into  _not_  loving Elain. The softness in others towards her was so natural; it had been the only piece of her own heart that was the same as Feyre’s in their childhood, after all. In fact, it was the sole thing that Nesta ever shared with anyone, that love for the garden girl with the sunshine smile. As she stared out over the twinkling lights of Velaris, she smothered the dark, creeping vine of jealousy that threatened to take root in her gut. It was not Elain’s fault that she could make things–flowers, love–grow and flourish so well. It was not her fault that smiles died when Nesta walked into a room.

A break in the music pulled her from her thoughts. She held her breath as the pause dragged on, but eventually the next song started. A relief, as the entertainment would keep her sisters occupied. They would not notice her absence. They would not come out here, to chide and stare at her with disappointed eyes.

If they did, it would ruin the night–for all of them.

She grimaced, clutching the railing tighter. Goosebumps rose on her skin. For a heartbeat, she thought it was from the breeze, but then she realized the strands of hair which had escaped her bun were still against her neck. Nesta forced herself to stay perfectly still, because she knew who was behind her.

How could she not. He was the only one who set her skin afire like this, who made her itch and yearn. Her pulse quickened, preparing for a fight, or preparing for something else, she was not certain.

“I came out here to rid myself of unwanted company,” she warned. “Go back inside.”

“I would, if I were indeed unwanted company.”

Nesta felt an dangerous thrill go down her spine. Half-indignant, half-indulgent, she did not move, but continued staring out into the night. She sensed Cassian moving a few steps towards her, still behind her back, still out of sight.

Infuriating, when he did that. Even as it frayed her nerves, the fire it lit inside her wasn’t vicious. It wasn’t soft, either. It was hot, and constant, and insatiable. And like a moth, she couldn’t stay away from its flame.

With a barely there turn of her head, she replied, “Go back inside, where its warm. Unless you think your arrogance will keep the chill away.”

“What’s keeping you warm, Nesta?”

The roughness in his low voice made her want to shiver, but she suppressed the urge. If she hadn’t let the cold drive her to a point of weakness, neither would she let him.

“I don’t need to keep warm. Haven’t you heard the rumors? Ice runs in my veins, not blood.”

A little sigh escaped him, and her mouth twisted into a sharp ghost of a smile. Just because she was always on the balcony, on the outside of things, did not mean she did not hear what they said about her.

_Cold. Jagged. Ungrateful. Toxic._

“I damned well don’t believe anything they say about you, and neither should you.” He was right behind her now; his warmth hit her back in a strong wave.

“I do not believe them.”

Cassian snorted. “Do you know what I don’t believe?”

She responded with silence, but he stood resolute against her wordless needling. Taking his time, he just stood behind her, waiting for her to break. Nesta almost laughed, because he should know better by now. She was the last one left standing, always.

A faint brush of his finger at the back of her neck made her skin prickle sharply, but she did not falter. As he traced down the backdrop necklace, lingering over each of the seven red jewels, Nesta’s cheeks flushed with heat, and her pulse stuttered, but she did not waver. She had known it would come to this, after all. Her attendance at the party had been for her sisters, but she had chosen this ensemble–a ink-black backless gown with a plunging neckline, not to mention the necklace trailing down her back–for her own purposes.

“I do not believe that you wore this magnificent dress on a whim,” he murmured against her right shoulder. “I do not believe that you ever thought it would go unnoticed. I do not believe you didn’t know exactly what you were doing when you chose this to wear tonight.”

Cassian traced his lips across the top of her back to her other shoulder. “Did you do all of this for me, Nesta?”

Finally, she turned her head to meet his gaze, their lips a breath away. “Think what you like.”

“Nesta.”

She closed her eyes, and breathed. “I did it for me.”

 _For us_ , she thought. She felt a softness overcome his stance, and then he placed a gentle kiss on her shoulder. It was her undoing, for it made her breath hitch, made her eyes sting. His calloused hands cupped her arms, his thumbs brushing back and forth, slowly, soothingly.

How long they stood there, she did not know. All that mattered was that Cassian stayed, and that he understood: she was trying. Tonight, with this dress, she had worn her heart for everyone to see, even if most of them did not recognize it for the statement that it was.

He knew, though. Even though it terrified her, Nesta had told him, finally.

She loved him. She did not know how to be with him, or even if she could. There were still so many open wounds that she had to heal, but she loved him. And now he knew.


End file.
